Amazing grace

 I can't begin writing without saying first that I STRUGGLE.  Why in the world would I need a Savior if I didn't.

 After living a life in rebellion to God, and seeing the depth of my sin, and choosing to make Him Savior and Lord of my life- a supernatural transformation took place in this heart of mine.  This transformation isn't something that man can conjure up or develop in his own strength. It only comes by the crying out to God- claiming His Son as one to believe and follow. Are there immediate changes? no. It takes time...but as we grow closer to Him until the day we die- that relationship grows more and more intimate- and when united with Him in Heaven- His glory will be complete. If surrendering your life to God hasn't been a choice you've made- I pray you seek Him.

As followers, we know that although our focus has changed and we have a new heart- there is still sin, and our motives will never be perfectly pure.

 "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away."-Isaiah 64:6 

This is me. All my acts that are "good"- are not so great after all. My flesh is unclean- and as long as I'm living in this body, nothing is going to change. But if that's where we stop, and become swamped in self-pity for our yuckiness then we are missing a VERY important part- the most important part- grace.

This past week has been SO HARD in SO MANY ways. I have been loaded with midterms, presentations, papers, and readings for school and have had to take time to do these things instead other things that I love! I try to make a point to spend time with God everyday in His Word so that I am fed, and ready for the day.  After spending hours and hours for school- my quiet time has taken the back burner. So what do I do? I become absorbed in self-pity. 

"Why God am I in school? Why does this have to be so hard? Why do I STILL struggle with things I've confessed to You over and over again.  Why can't I commit more time to You? Why did I just spend 2 hours on Facebook? I am a failure. I can't do anything right-I stink at giving You control. I totally was so focused on school I didn't even think about You today- why in the world do You want me? Blah blah blah..."

Do these thoughts sound familiar? 

Let me just tell you... these thoughts, for me, never last long anymore because I am QUICKLY reminded that I am no longer bound to a life that has a false belief that I have to work for God's love for me. I learned something SO SWEET recently that I have got to share. I know this post is getting long- but I gotta. Here it goes. Are you ready? Ok.

We (as in people in the past) were once bound to the Old Covenant. This was a promise, known as the law, that God made with His people- the Ten Commandments.  The people were constantly making sacrifices to God in order to be obedient to Him and to please Him.  But they could never uphold the law! No matter how hard they tried- they failed! In Jeremiah 31 God says that His people "broke His covenant though He was a husband to them". BUT there is GOOD NEWS. God's law was not abolished- but fulfilled. He didn't mess up with the Old Law, His people couldn't keep it, so... there was a NEW COVENANT! This covenant He spoke about in the Old Testament.."This covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord, I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people...For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more". Holy stinkin' cow. No longer was the job in our hands- it was no longer "you shall do this, and you shall not do that"..but it was "I will give you a new heart, I will send my Holy Spirit to live in you".  That is why the New Covenant through the blood of Jesus Christ works, and is sufficient!!!!

SO- what does this have anything to do with the way my week has gone? I keep having the Old Testament mind that I must work for righteousness, when in reality- me believing I can work for it is "filthy rags". 

What do you think God's facial expression is when He thinks of you?

My sweet friends (if you are in Christ)- God sees you the same today, as He does tomorrow because He sees His perfect Son.  This is the free gift we surely don't deserve- but have been given. Rest in that.

Love Love Love

In light of this weekend, and the quickly approaching holiday of Love, I think it's fitting for me to share what I just learned of how Valentines Day came about. I'm not a huge fan of this holiday- for one, it is not fun for singles, and secondly, I have seemed to be single EVERY Valentine's Day of my life.  Just to throw this out there..I was expecting to research this and be bored out of my mind..BUT there turned to be a great lesson for me :)

Valentines Day was originally a day to honor several men named "Valentine" who were martyred for their faith in Jesus Christ.  Here is the story of one man named Valentine:

St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.

WOW. Now THAT'S an expression of love! When I first read that I was stunned. How easy it is for us to turn anything that gives glory to God into something that gives glory to ourselves. Among the Valentines Day celebrations of passing love letters, sweet chocolates, and xoxo's I seemed to have totally missed this story. Oh, but there is an even greater story...which moved these men to give of their lives to a greater picture- THE greater story. The one I heard as a little girl that as saved this wretched heart of mine and made me new- the only story that has the power to do- is of my Savior.  "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:7-8  Christ didn't die for good people. Christ died for sinners- ones He knew would reject Him. Christ died to ultimately bring glory to His Father, in which ugly hearts would be able to cry out and surrender to the One who can cover them and make them holy.  Man...why do I search for love elsewhere? How can I gloom on Valentine's Day because I don't have a guy to share it with? Because I do, and He is the ultimate expression of love, and the only One who can satisfy this heart. 

Guys and girls- single and in a relationship: There is NO OTHER who can fill our needs as people other than the Creator who made us to praise Him.  If something isn't doing what it's created for- it will not find peace. May the sacrifice made LONG AGO move you to love Jesus.

I sometimes am afraid of what my future holds. Relationships were once something I idolized, because the thought of being single forever terrified me. Although I still desire to be in a marriage someday, I understand and can accept that if it takes a whole life of being single to cling to Christ and grow in love for Him, than it's worth it to me. That love is my ultimate purpose. So on this day of 'Love' enjoy time with your special someone- but my prayer for you is that you question where that desire of love comes from- perhaps from the one who IS love.

God bless, love always in Christ!

Jor

Sometimes zip za mouth!

Hello blog world. I have recently been thinking a lot about blogging...mainly because I am crazy busy and have a hard time staying in touch with friends (who in turn think something awful has happened to me when in reality I'm just a poor communicator :0), I have so much I'm learning, and there's so much God is revealing to me that I just want SPILL out and share..and a simple Facebook status is not enough room! I'm really hoping that I can stick to it this time, I know that's probably a common line heard from uncommitted bloggers :)

I've been praying a lot about this summer, and really seeking God in my decision. As I wrestle with what to do, where to go, and what organization to go with my sin of not having faith God will provide answers in His time smacks me upside the face.  I've found that I have a bad habit of trying to "work" for everything, instead of just resting in Him.  I know I've talked to a lot of people for advice and counsel...and I am SO grateful for Christian friends who are constantly praying for me.  I really feel like God has placed on my heart a certain specific desire in my heart.  I thought it was for this summer...but, now I'm beginning to believe it's a desire for the future- in His perfect timing. 

My situation reminds me of Joseph. God had given Joseph a vision- to be a great ruler. But what does Joseph do? He blabs and tells his brothers and father! He's then sold to slavery out of his brothers jealousy of this vision. Because of his boasting to these people instead of lifting his heart to God and waiting patiently, he allowed Satan to change the plans. 

What this means for me...I blab too much, which may explain why my plans are constantly changing. But it also shows me that although the ideas I had believed God was wanting for my summer have changed, this doesn't mean it wont ever happen. Is this making sense?

The beauty of the story isn't Joseph- it's God's faithfulness, and that is what I want to cling to. No matter what the circumstances in our life come to in the end- may His name be lifted high! And it will.

Have a blessed Superbowl Sunday. (I'm pretty positive God's will is for the Colts to win)  :) Kidding of course!